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Haha. Crack up stories on here.

I was lying in bed with three of my other mates and me & 'her' were just laughing in the dark about everything.

Me: Hahahahahahah!
Her: I'm hungry as.
Me: Yeah, I feel like some pancakes (I apparently said this very retardedly, like Cletus of the Simpsons).
Her: Hahahaha! Fuck you're a goon!I feel like some pancakes! I feel like some pancakes! I feel like some pancakes!
Me: And cream!
Both of us: HAHAHAHAH!!!
Her: <to the other chick> Oi ****, chuck me your phone. I needa borrow a text.
The other chick: <into her pillow, sleep-talking> No, i'm using it. I need to write a text in my dreams... i'm halfway through it...
Her: AND CREAM!!

Haha. HAD TO BE THERE!

THis is CRACK UP!

A couple friends and I were smoking once and someone asked me what time it was.

My response: "ten past eleven thirty".

I've still yet to live that one down.

one of the best ones i've said probably went something like this:
me: if you were offered a pound of heroin, or a pound of weed, which one would you take?
mate: weed man, heroins bad
me: wrong, the heroin, take it then sell it off and buy a SHIT load of weed!

i would personally do it too

LMFAO!!!!!

One time I was smoking a joint with my brother and his fiance in the kitchen. She was cutting skin and fat off of some chicken with kitchen scissors and he looks at her and screams, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

She was blazed, freaked out at the sudden loud yelling, dropped the chicken in the sink and she goes "WHAT THE HELL?!"

He was like "You're cutting off all the chicken...and I'm hungryyy"

We were so stoned we both were in tears laughing...it's definitely one of those "Had to be there" stories though.

To this day, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard. Good bud, I guess!

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speaking to the judge at my sentencing: YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF!

turns out they can throw you in jail for that... but i did get out early and i got an apology from the judge for talking to me the way she did...

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me: if you type in poop spelled poup the computer says it POOWOP its so funny everytime i hear it i cant stop laughing in fact im laughing now as i type it.

my bf: look at you ya wee stone head laughing like a highena

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"this weed has a high thc content"-Antonio
three six mafia-stay high<--stoner anthem.

One day we were all blazin in my friend's house and sitting on his couch watching a movie when one of my friends asked if we wanted to go to a fast-food (if I remember correctly). Conversation went like this.

Friend A: Man.. we should really go buy some hot dogs at this [insert name] fast-food nearby.
Me: Yeah! Which one?
Friend A: Like, the one that's close to the school.
Me: Yeah, not the other one, would have been too far.
Friend A: Yeah, it would have taken a long time.
Me (with the most retarded goofy stoned voice you can imagine): Yeah...like, It's at least 400 more miles.
Then the four of us look at each other and die laughing for about 10 minutes. Was great.

ALSO:

Another day, we were smoking in that same friend's house with his bong for which he had bought a new bucket the same day cause his other one was broken. So one my friend goes out on the balcony and starts lighting the shit up when I insulted him, but in a REALLY funny way. It went like:

Me: You can't fuck your girlfriend cause you had a fucking leg cramp!

Then he bursts out laughing but he's so high he forgets to put the bong away. So it went silence and the only thing you hear is a really huge glass crash. Then my friend shouts, really fast:

Friend M: I'll buy you another one!

And then, that's the funniest thing ever, my other friends who's in the kitchen didn't even took his eyes off the sink and just yells madly:

-YOU BROKE THE BUCKEEEEETTT!!!

AND HE WAS FUCKING PISSED. At that moment I was dying from laughter and we all did for about 20 minutes. Then we smoked during the rest of the day and I would always remind my friend of his broken bucket so he would start shouting and getting really mad. It was awesome.

Me and my cuz just got done smokin a blunt in my mommoms garage at like 2 a.m. and when we were sittin in the livingroom watchin half baked she got up and she went into the garage and she came into the livinroom she said:

Her: What were you two doing in the garage? Its smokey and smells like weed..
Cuz: Ummmm..... we were.... umm... ok fuck it, we were smoking a blunt.
Me: HAHAHAHA
Her: (laughs) Well this should get you feeling even better (hands us both perk 15's)


We were both only like 15 at the time. You had to be there

I got a funny one from tonight. We were 3 and we smoked a real big blunt (about 3g) mixed with 5 sorts of weed and we hotbox my car. We were at the middle of that fatty and we're still smoking and really freakin stoned I say to my friend:

-Yeah, if the police shows up, you throw that joint out the window.
(friend)-What? You hide it!
-No, it's too big to hide in a car and it's already lit.
-Dude, if the police shows up, I'd rather shove it up my ass brefore throwing it!

We all cracked up laughing.

Oh and also tonight we said another funny one:

"The car's so hotboxed that if a cop pulled us over just by opening the window the smoke coming out would get him high and he'd wander off."

my brother after a long talk about proving his badass-ness to his girlfriend ''life isn't about being a badass, its about getting head' --nuff said. lol. super baked.

Me & her are watching The Ex List, pilot episode, blonde stuck on a toupe to her shaven twat....

Me: Blondes are fun cause they do it all sideways......
her: huh ?????

The Ex List, pilot episode, commercial break....

She gets up to go to the ladies room, and as we are having a no-subject-type-of convo, we burp inbetween words.
Me: Hey, we speak 'burp' talk....
Her: Bbbuuurrrrrrrpppp !! (Yes, we do)

Bwhahahahahaha........

Nheenheenhhee......Ahhhhaaaaaahhaaaaa -errrr - ahhhheeeehhhaaahheee -- errrr ---

Yep, we pretty fucked up right now, Transkei shit rules........

Her: Oh please, please don't write that, what if the cops r reading this ???

Me: (thinks - WTF ????) Ahhhaaaahhhaaaa

"Swooofff-ahh! wHOooof.. Now that's what you call First Class, Grade A, Supremo, Cigaweeed!"