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I hit a gravity bong the second time I smoked, and I was coughing like a motherfucker...it was all bad. I fell onto the bathroom floor, just hacking like crazy, and my buddy Mike (who set this up for me) asks me if I'm ok, and I just say "Dude, I feel like I'm going to fucking die!! This is amazing! THANK YOU! I FUCKIN' LOVE YOU MAN!"..it was ridiculous..way funny though. I was pretty blown that night...hitting a gravity for your second smoking experience is pretty intense...

*after 4 bowls of white widow in a home made 2 foot bong filled with fresh snow*

Me: Uh guys, we just inhaled a bunch of acid snow.

Friend 1 (stoned off his ass): Acid snow?

Friend 2 (that know it all that gets high, ya know the kind): Technically its not..

Me: Hey, Bill Nye, don't kill my buzz.

Friend 1: Bill Nye would rig a buzzer to fry your ass with just a thumbtack and some sticky putty.

*we all look at him*

Friend 1: What?

Me: That acid snow got to ya man.

*friend 1 freaks out for a few seconds*

then it kept going on we'd pick on him about acid snow....joke got old

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Listen up.......I got two words for you.

Smoke more!

UPDATE---
The zombies (now deemed xombies) were squirrels. ! couple of young squirrels. they caught them this morning. Then got one of them stoned. My friends are bad people.... lols.

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You don't know.

My boyfriend likes to go "Shhhh" if we all get to quiet after a sesh.

Anywho, he said "shhhh" and I continued on with the best Elmer Fudd impersonation I could do and said "Be vewwy vewwy quiet, I'm humping wabbits", totally flubbing the line but it was funny.

Well , in our pot circle of friends we have a saying that says: Everytime youre going out when youre high , you HAVE to meet someone , literally you meet someone everytime youre high , it always happens

So , this time it was me and my two stoner buddies walking down the street at night after 2 huge joints mixed weed with hash , then at night i hear someone from the car calling my name.. ( Lets say my name is Phillip )

Car: Phillip!

( one of my friends gets religious trips when hes high , so he thought jesus was calling my name so i can comeforth to heaven , but nvm that )

Me: Oh hi

Car: Its great to see you , where and what are you doing at this time of night?

Me: Oh thank you

LOOOOL might not be funny to you but i just said thank you to to ''how are you doing'' then ignored the car , turns out it was the owner of the school i go to with his daughters from my class sitting in the car.

Its not the funniest that ever happened but its the most memorable one , alot of funny shit happens when youre high but you forget them

After smoking a blunt and working on a car (we ordered a pizza)

Me: "Dude give me that screw driver"
::friend steps on my pizza going to his seat::
Me: "Dude give me the damn screw driver"
::friend is stoned, doesn't know I'm talking to him::
Me: "Dude, you steped in my damn pizza, you think you can hand me the god damn screw driver?!"

... he finally gave it to me.. but by the time he did.. I forgot why the hell I needed it.. and I had no pizza anymore

.. you had to be there.. it was great.

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I owe alot to this site. <3

Me and two of my friends were sitting in my living room
smokin out of my waterbong.

*Cat meows outside*
Stoner 1:You hear that?
Stoner 2:Yeah it sounds like a cat,but I cant see it.
Stoner 3:ITS A GHOST CAT!
Stoner 1:I think its right in front of me!

Then we went and locked ourselves in my room, till we felt it was safe again.

well I had just started toking, and realy needed some chocolate. So I drove to the local ice cream store and bought some goodies. AS I was leaving, I noticed a cruiser with 2 cops watching me. I kept trucking, careful not to screw up. Got in my car and started to drive. All of a sudden, theres the cops pulled up alongside me. They gave me a big smile. Hey, they said, real nice night. Yes iit is I eplied, AND a vwery bright moon too, annie. Once again I agreed, while noticing the other cop was doubled over laughing. Bright moon tonighgt he said. Yes I agreed. SO PUT ON YOUR GODDAMN HEADLIGHTS> OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, ok sir, and thanks, talk about stupid!!!! but it WAS funny. {and the ice cream was REAL good}



anniecclancy LOL

not really funny but some odd things we've said xD..

me and two mates were getting stoned in his flat, and one says "duuuudee. the last time i did this, i was really bored, so i decided i would do this. my mates were bored but they got a bit more happy when we sparked it."
"then we smoked a bit. it was a bit more interesting. we smoked a bit more. a tiny bit more interesting. then we went for a walk, which turned out a lot quite interesting, then we got home and it was VERY INTERESTING."
it was a bit longer than that and was another one of those "you had to be there" things.

another one...
trying to talk to my mom while stoned because she was asking me questions in the kitchen coz she caught me before i went to my room..
me: i hate it when you go to sleep
mom: why?
me: because when you go to sleep i remember what i want to tell you during the day, so i get up to tell you but you're asleep so you cant hear me, so i go away, then you wake up and i forget, so i cant tell you. then you go to sleep and i remember again so im like ooooohhhhhh and i go to tell you but you're asleep again so i just go away. but then i remember it when you're not there so i ring you up and you dont answer so i go to ring you again and you ring back and i forget what i phoned for so i dream about it and go to tell you and i forget or your asleep and either way it doesnt work.
mom: *stares at me* ohhh......kaayyyyyy.

It was my 3rd time and my friend's first time smoking. We have having a grand old time in the kitchen trying to make brownies:

Me: What do I need next?
Friend: 2 eggs (hands them to me)
Me: Eggcellent!
Friend: o_0 What?
Me: Two eggs were eggsactly what I needed!
Friend: You really need to stop that now.
Me: I will in just a few seggconds.
Friend: . . .
Me: Ok, I'm done. I've said eggnough.

After a few more tokes we were singing and dancing in the kitchen. Suddenly I point at my cat and say, "Look at that cat!" That very moment my cat stops dead in her tracks looks at us and meows. My friend and I look at each other surprised and again I point at my cat and say "Look at that cat." Just as before my cat stops dead in her tracks and meows at us. My friend puts his arm around my shoulder, looks very seriously and deeply into my eyes and says, "WE CONTROL THE CATS!"

When I first started smoking I used to video tape myself talking about my experiances. While eating doritos I tried to explain how much better they were when I was high: "It is like a cascade of flavor in my mouth."

Another time my lighter broke on me when I was toking on a bowl and I made the short poem: The spring sprung and the flint went flying.

< - what he said

me and my friend like to fuck with people if we're smokin with other people me and him will just start making up a story or something and its awesome cause we can go for like 10 min just makin shit up and people will think its a true story.

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heres a convo.... kind..

person 1:this shit is strong man
person 2: yeaaah...
person 1: *collapses*
person 2: what the fuck are you ok??!
person 1: yeah man.. dont move me i feel so good.

Me and my housemate were getting ridiculously high in the garden of the house we rented for university when my landlady decided to call in out of the blue to deliver a new washing machine she had ordered. After a few minutes of chat, my housemate just couldn't act non-stoned anymore and burst out laughing at the situation.

Landlady: "Why are you laughing?"
Housemate: "I'm just a very happy person!"

The way he just came out with it in a split-second like it was the most obvious answer in the world ended up making me crack up too, with the landlady wondering what the hell was going on. I'm just thanking sweet Jesus that we didn't smoke in the house...

Once I was on acid and playing Risk with 2 friends. The one that didn't know I was on acid said "hey, could you pass me the ipod" (accross the table). I looked at it, I looked back at him. I looked at it again, looked back at him again, laughed, and said "Dude WTF, that's impossible!"

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"I think your love of the halfling's pipe-weed has slowed your mind"

- Saruman