Stoner Forums - A Marijuana & 420 Friendly Community

"I’ve got so much to say, I just can’t say it sensibly,�

“I feel like I have a role to be different from the rest of society,
To be an outlaw and to embrace rock n roll.�

“I felt that if I could have stayed alone forever just not doing anything, I’d have been the happiest person in the world, but whilst I had to exist, it was killing me.�

Me (Drunk, and crossfaded): I don't know if I am going to be able to survive this drum circle as fucked up as I am, man.
Homie (Sober): Dude, you couldn't survive chuck E cheeses'

Ok the story goes like this... so one day I was smoking with my buddy whom I have blazed with since 12 (I am 23). You know, we were outside his balcony had a few spliffs, and just whipped out the bong right. Dunno why we got into this semi serious convo... and after a while he looked up all in shock and said, 'Can't believe that I am a Pothead'. I was like damn you've been a pothead for 10 yrs, you pick up an ounce every week! Fucking eh you smoke too much dude.' At that moment, we looked at each other bursted out laughing and went silent again.
Seriously, he meant that seriously, he was in genuine shock. Damn Mary Jane.

Hey I Just thought of something real funny...Hee Your Mama.
(Cheech Marin)

__________________
Don't bother asking me if we should load another bowl. The anwser is and always will be YES

Stoned???????Huh???????? ahhhh.... I THINK I left my pipe right here, really...........Shit. No I would NEVER start without you.............right....shit, ahhhhhhhhhhh, hmmmmmmmmmmmm....OK

Okay so the story goes like this:
Me and 2 of my friends smoked a bit, my first bong experience. I was... 16?
Wow.
yeah.
Anyways so his dad comes in after we're just totally blazed and they're playing guitar hero and i'm just sitting in the floor playing with shit, talking a whole lot, listening to the music and laughing my ass off when they mess up, just chillin' out and feeling great.
His dad walks in, came home early for work, and my friend turns to me and is like "Dude, that's my dad, chill out"
and i swear to god i go "I'm chill, i'm cool. I'm cool as a cucumber over here. I'm so cool the ice cubes are jealous."
But what i evidently mumbled was "I'm like a cucumber, i need some ice cubes over here"
or something to that effect.
That's one of my favorite pot moments.
you just had to be there.
lol

that's my favorite behind the super mondo deep discussion me and my 2 best friends had about Happy Feet.
It was so amazingly exostential.
=]

__________________
You don't know.

"Dude! Let's watch Chappelle show!"
"Alright man..."
-Gets chappelle show dvd box set out-
"Holy shit! have you guys heard the new -insert band name here-"
"Oh man! it's the shit!"
-Closes movie and jets over to youtube to find video-
"Hey man... look up some rascist stuff"
"...WHAT?"
"What? It would be funny"
"...BULLshit!"

Hilarious convos... get so side tracked and lost...
XD

__________________

Huh????????what was the question????????????????. and WHERE THE HELL is my GD pipe???? I JUST put it down,........Oh well, Ill fill another pipe, sooner or later Ill find the other one....;L OLI didnt smoke all THAT>>>>. THAT.....well..yup Im buzzzzzzzzzzzed

This one may be a bit explicit and dirty, but this site ain't for the kiddies anyway, so here I go.

Me and my girlfriend are baked as hell and we start fucking hardcore...
Like after an hour or so... I finally cum. Loud moaning, tensing up, the whole bit.
Well, after I recover a few minutes later and collapse on top of her, I look at her and say Jokingly:
"Do you know what just happened to me?"
And she was like...
-smiles- "No... what?"
And I just laugh and say...
"Oh nothing then... cuz it would have been embarrassing if you knew!"

Then we just sorta... bust up laughing for no damn reason. I thought it was great.

__________________

Ahaaa. I say the funniest shit when I'm stoned. :P
I guess the story begins with me & my Mickey D's weed: I was in the city with a few friends & we were already buzzed & went to lazer tag then MD's after for food. So, there is no one else in McDonald's but like us & these two black, rough-lookign guys come in & sit like across from us & ask my friend if he smokes weed. He doesn't but then he asks like eveyone & they are all like No. Then I pipe up & I'm like "I do!" ... cause by this point I'm outta weed again. Now... I am blonde 5'6 and one could say I'm like the girl next door. Last person you'd expect to be a huge pothead. So, these guys are a bit shocked but ask me how much I want. I say 2grms. So, they leave & I get soem cash & head outside with a friend of mine ( big guy). As we are walkign out, two men in uniform walk in. My hearts stops & then they pass us & my friend says very loudly " Its ok! Their just paramedics!"
We walk out the guy gives us the sketchy weed & then my dad comes & picks all of us up.
So, I I am smokign this weed for the second time & telling some people this story. They like flip out & say "That could have been laced with like acid or soemthing" . I calmly breath out my toke & say " Thats what friends are for. "

Same weed... the crazy Mickey D's weed also made me say the following.

"Want some chips?" - friend
"No way man!"
"Why not?"-friend
"Cause they're on FIRE!!"


Other quotes:

"Oh my holy jesus FUCK!" -me
"What?"
"WHERE'D THE FUCKING STARS GO???? AHHHHHHHHHHHH"-me ( passed out in a field.)


Oh, Mickey D's weed.
Had to have been there.
I'm pretty toked rigth now so I can't remember anymore

You really had to be there for this one.....

I walked downstairs to find my mate sat in a chair, staring at a wall:

Me: What you doin man?
Stoner: Nothing
Me: Who you with?
Stoner: No one.

I was laughing for about half an hour...
guess you had to be there lol

"Fuck Shit UP!" <<our tokin' motto lol

*scratching sound*
Me- "Dudes... did you hear that noise?"
Both Dudes-"No...?"
*scratching sound again, but louder*
Dude 1- "Did you hear that?"
Me- "YEAH, that's what i heard!"
Dude 2- "What was that?"
Me- "Sounds like a lion."
Dude 1- "Nah, sounds like a zombie."
*scratching sound, louder and faster with some thumping"
All- "SHIT ZOMBIES RUN!"
(later we were talking about the zombies again)
Dude 2- "If the zombies came out... would ya'll save me?"
Me- "No. i'd run. i'm not gonna lie."
Dude 1- "I'd take that guitar to it."
Dude 2- "Nah, man. You'd need to use the bass."

The whole zombie experience was just... hilarious. There are more good zombie quotes, but i dont really remember them. But we were legitimately scared. The noises followed us all over the house. Granted, it was probably rats, lol.

OH!
and one day my friends and i got messed up... so bad. Some of us were drunk, some were high, some were both, we were havin' the best time.
We were talking all night about how we should buy a boat,
cause a boat would be AMAZING right now." we said, lol.
And all of the sudden someone goes upstairs, to the banister above the couches, and starts throwing change on our heads. We were going bananas cause there was flippin money falling from the cieling!! It was pennies, then some dimes, and i was like
"DUDE. JIMMY. Now we can buy that boat"
Jimmy's looking at me through this... not a hole in the wall but it was like a window without glass in the middle of the house... dunno how to say it. and he almost crawls through the hole like "yeah!"
Then comes a couple quarters.
"JIMMY! There's quarters! We can buy a fuckin YACHT!"
and we were all "YEAH!"
and yelled and cheered forever lol.

__________________
You don't know.

Me and some friends smoke right. After we all get in a few hits we notice that it was giving the other dude one hell of a ride. A big ass Joker sized grin was on his face and he was just... GONE. So we sit there a minute then all of a sudden he jumps up and says this.
"Oh man... is this that weed that made me Slow-Bar last time?"
And me and the other guy look at each other like...
"What the fuck is he talking about?"
And he says, "Ya know... Slow-bar!"
He then proceeds to drool and snot on himself, Repeating "Slow-Bar" over and over.
The dude was so gone he had a hard time pronouncing slobber right.
XD

Another time me and 2 other guys were smoking and we decided to make a HUGE ass water bong out of a 2 liter bottle and a 5 gallon bucket. We did and we pack a bowl of some dank ass weed.
The hits go around the circle... maybe 1 1/2 time before it gets to me. I had not been smoking for about 2 months or so and mostly just on the weekends. So I start going down on my hit and I get about halfway when I have to stop and try not to cough. I hold and strain with all my might, but alas I could not hold it. With a humongous cough I heave. And... then throw up.
After a few minutes of that, I lean up... from laying down on the porch and say..." Dude... Did you guys see how many Stomach Babies I made?"
We all fucking died.
Laughed for like 20 minutes.

__________________

XD
ohmigod that made me laugh so hard. That's hilarious.

__________________
You don't know.

t do you mean???? i wouldnt start without you!!Naw, Im just a little tired.. where the hell is that gd pipe NOW!!!!!!!!! oppppppppppppps hey hon!!really, OF COURSE I LISTEN {lol} yeah...maybe a LITTLE buzz..........ed