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so today i got baked and i started thinkin, which was a bad idea, because i thought too hard. See, i figured out how to fly, like realy fly, and i was just about to go for it, and i thought, "you know, i am pretty sure that we are not supposed to know this. what if the government finds out that i know how to fly, they'll use me for midnight bomb raids and shit, but ill be all baked and ill bomb the wrong headquarters so ill be court marshalled and whatever. You guys ever think too hard when your baked?
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of flying
Quote:
There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying.
The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Pick a nice day, it suggests, and try it.
The first part is easy.
All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt.
That is, it's going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground.
Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard.
Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties.
One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It's no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won't. You have to have your attention suddenly distracted by something else when you're halfway there, so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about how much it's going to hurt if you fail to miss it.
It is notoriously difficult to prise your attention away from these three things during the split second you have at your disposal. Hence most people's failure, and their eventual disillusionment with this exhilarating and spectacular sport.
If, however, you are lucky enough to have your attention momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by, say, a gorgeous pair of legs (tentacles, pseudopodia, according to phyllum and/or personal inclination) or a bomb going off in your vicinity, or by suddenly spotting an extremely rare species of beetle crawling along a nearby twig, then in your astonishment you will miss the ground completely and remain bobbing just a few inches above it in what might seem to be a slightly foolish manner.
This is a moment for superb and delicate concentration.
Bob and float, float and bob.
Ignore all considerations of your own weight and simply let yourself waft higher.
Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful.
They are most likely to say something along the lines of, 'Good God, you can't possibly be flying!'
It is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right.
Waft higher and higher.
Try a few swoops, gentle ones at first, then drift above the treetops breathing regularly.
DO NOT WAVE AT ANYBODY.
When you have done this a few times you will find the moment of distraction rapidly becomes easier and easier to achieve.
You will then learn all sorts of things about how to control your flight, your speed, your manoeuvrability, and the trick usually lies in not thinking too hard about whatever you want to do, but just allowing it to happen as if it was going to anyway.
You will also learn about how to land properly, which is something you will almost certainly cock up, and cock up badly, on your first attempt.
There are private flying clubs you can join which help you achieve the all-important moment of distraction. They hire people with surprising bodies or opinions to leap out from behind bushes and exhibit and/or explain them at the critical moments. Few genuine hitch-hikers will be able to afford to join these clubs, but some may be able to get temporary employment at them.
Yea, I had a brain fart from being too high one day and thinking too much,
decided to invent an anti-gravity machine.
You know how when you butter bread and it falls to the floor,butter side down.
and when a cat falls to the ground always lands on their feet.
Well,I duct tapped a slice of buttered bread to the back of our cat and pushed him off the counter top.Right before he should have hit the ground,
He started hovering.
I love 'thinking' when I'm wasted. Oh, but all the moments of sheer genius that have been lost because my straight mind has been too closed or inadequate to fully comprehend or recall such moments later on...
yea ive though about trying to fly i was told by a friend not to try it though... i wouldnt really take my word for it though cus apparently is dangerous ?????
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