Stoner Forums - A Marijuana & 420 Friendly Community - Marriage and Relationships

I'm in need of some advice/education

Zilla — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 06:19:01 GMT

Hi,
Im in need of some advice/education.
Me and my girl have been together for almost 6 months now, we have a long distance relationship because we live in different countries, which is going great and isnt an issue because we meet and im moving there in a few months.

Now i live in a country where MJ is legal to smoke and i've been raised around it.
My friends smoke(d) and i never had a real problem with it as im open minded about it by nature and i was raised that way.

Now here is the "problem" my GF recently started smoking weed again (she recently told me she did it when she was younger along with other stuff) and been doing it more frequently, she smokes together with her flatmates just for fun and to feel good.
However a few days ago she did it and got sick because of it and told me she probably wont do it again.

Until tonight, She called me and told me she was soooo high, and she smoked because her and her mates were bored, then she goes on how much she loves it and so on.

We have talked about it and honestly i am open minded, i tried it once myself, i liked it at first, it made me happy, but then it turned into a little nightmare as i started to get really cold and couldnt stop shaking, i felt my fingers,hands, arms, body and head become numb and was about to black out, i started to panic about it, i wasnt alone and my friend who introduced me to it comforted me and i felt a bit better, however i kept feeling a bit shaky and panicky until i fell asleep when i woke up i still felt a bit woozy but could function properly and went home to bed.

I might want to add that when i smoked i worked for 10 hours straight without any breaks, and i hadnt eaten much either, plus i had some beers prior to it so i also was a bit drunk.

Anyway back to my GF, i have seen people around me that smoke weed on a daily base and eventually get addicted to something, ive heard weed cant make you physically addicted but you can get mentally addicted to it.
But basicly i've seen those people throw their lives away, they ruined their relationships, their careers, their social lives and just live on welfare getting their fix and do nothing else.

Now i love my GF to death, and she loves me just as much , but i am terrified she might end up the same as those other people, i have explained this to her when she was sober and she assured me that nothing bad is going to happen, and that she won't let herself get addicted to it and that she is well aware of what she is doing.
Yet i am still scared, especially after tonight when she was high and just told me how much she loved the high and weed.

She doesnt smoke everyday (as far as i know) and she currently in Uni and really wants a career and a future together with me.

I will never ask her to stop smoking for me, because i can't do that, it's her life and she should do whatever she wants to do, but i have this worry in my head that when i move closer to her she has become like those other people that i have mentioned, and i dont think i can build a future with someone who doesnt want to work or anything but just smoke.

I hope i have explained my situation a bit and i would really have some advice/education about it.
Not only about my GF but also about my perosnal experiences with weed....i really want to do it again because the initial feeling was great, i havent felt that good in a while, but the part that came after it was just scary and i dont really want that feeling back :p

Anyway, i hope you guys can help me out a bit, i would love to smoke together with her, because like i said i am open minded about it, and maybe if i get in the same situation as her i might feel alot better and assured about it.
It's just i do not want to lose her for anything, if she wants to smoke it on a daily base i am fine with it as long as she still functions in society like any other person.

I probably know some of the answers, like how good do i know my gf to know that she wont turn out like what i am afraid she would turn out to, i do trust her, and i beleive it when she says she is aware of it all.
It just been in my head for a while and i worry about it and i'd like to easy my mind about it.

This turned out into quite a post, hope you will find the time to read all of it :)
But to sum it up:
-Will my second time be like my first time?
-And am i too paranoid about my GF smoking it?
-Also, i dont beleive what the goverment says about weed, in my country its legal but the majority of the people still consider it as a slight taboo, i think that its mostly a personal thing, are you easily addicted to stuff or how is your own self awareness and control.
Like i said i know my GF and i trust her, but i just have this thing in my head that weed can change people completly.

Thanks for any replies :)

is it fate?

Bindog — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 06:03:47 GMT

I honestly think I've found the perfect girl for me, and that it's fate that we should be together. 90% of me wants to believe that but the other 10% is pretty skeptical of magic. I'll try to use point form to keep this brief.....

- I met this girl when I was really drunk working at a bar over a year ago.

- To be honest I thought she was just way out of my league, just very fucking cool.

- She had a boyfriend at the time, and the third time I saw her we just stayed in her car and talked for hours and really hit it off.

- After that she was still pretty reluctant to give me her mobile. She'd give me and my friends free drinks, she'd talk to me often on her breaks. I stopped going there because I was over the pill poppers I was hangin around.

- It sort of felt like I was being played a bit. The whole not gettin her number used to bug me a bit, but it kind of made sense as she lived about 300 km away from me and had a boyfriend (she was not too keen on).

- The only real time I communicated with her after that was at the start of the year when I had some massive shit goin on in my life and I needed to tell someone about it because I was so depressed. She sent me a reply asking if I wanted to catch up and she felt sorry for me blah blah blah. But I was happy enough with that and did other things to take my mind off things.

- A few months ago after I was smoking up, I saw her in my local shops. I had no idea how I knew it was her I only got a glimpse of her back, but called out her name. It was her. She had a new boyfriend and had moved to my area with him.

- I was absolutely stunned when I saw her boyfriend. I kind of knew she had one, and that he was a DJ at where she works and she likes that sort of stuff, but I expected more than him. He was an absolute dweeb and gave me a handshake that felt like a used condom. He actually made a scrawny guy like me feel like I had muscle.

- She spoke to me on msn some time after that, saying we should catch up. I was kind of broke at the time so didn't ring her until....all this stuff happened 2 weeks ago.

- I went smoking at the shops with my mate and was randomly talking about her. Then I glimpsed in the rear view mirror a blonde girl from behind, and somehow I knew it was her. I called out to her and she came over and asked me to come shopping with her and stuff.

- We had a smoke in her car after (she had work so she didn't), just sat there for a while talking shit listening to her cds. Then she put the radio on and this song called 'Before too long' by paul kelly came on the radio. To save you the trouble of listening to or reading this god damn awful song, it's basically about a guy who knows that given time, he will be with this woman. It took me back to when I was listening to it last year and thinking about me and her actually GETTING together the next year, even though I saw no way of that happening. But at the time we just both started mindlessly singing it.

- She was saying she wanted to break up with him, because he was real anal and treating her like shit. I can't understand why she'd go out with a guy like that....

- Anyway after that she invited me back to her house, but cancelled cause her boyfriend was home. She invited me out again another night but I wasn't available.

- She had the day off today so we arranged to catch up. But when I got to her house with my other friend I saw she sent me a text sayin 'really sorry fuckn work called me in'. To be honest I was craving just to see her and she was still at home for ten minutes. I told her we were out the front but she left before I sent the message, although she said she thought she saw me, but granted I was quite a bit of distance annd she was running late.

- She sent me another message askin to catch up next week and she seemed honestly sorry. But I then asked if she wanted to hang out after work she didn't reply to that, but she was probaly working at that stage and still is.

Why I think it's fate?
You might think I'm just being a victim of circumstance and making a big deal over her because of the idea of being with her. I'll admit i've had a couple of stupid crushes like that before. But I can honestly say that I never thought I'd find someone that I would actually want to spend the rest of my life with. The only reason I've ever had girlfriends is because sometimes I just want female attention. But me and her are just on the same wave length with just about everything. She is so chilled out and cool that I feel like i'm homer simpson when I'm with her. Like me she's a country born Australian that just craves the party night life in the city, but also loves the simple things in life. She likes video games but loves her sport as well.
I havn't really known her for long, but those brief moments we're together it feels like she's an old friend of mine.

Why I don't
I won't lie to you, she's definatly hot. Guys hit on her all the time and I have seen her pretend to give her number out to others so they'd leave me n her alone at the bar. Whic makes me think that maybe I'm just a plain old friend. I'm also very spiteful at the fact that her boyfriend who dosn't seem to have any visible qualities, is able to take her for granted, and I struggle to pick up girls that you'd generally rate a 5. I won't lie to you, I'm probaly the worst with women. I like to THINK that I'm not a complete douche, but I can never relate to girls interests no matter how hard I try. Most attractive girls just tend to tell me to fuck off when I talk to them. As hard as it is to accept, I feel that if the majority of women I meet in my life think I'm a loser, then I probaly really am. Because this girl seems to enjoy my company, it brings out my confidence that maybe I'm too good for most women anyway.

Anyway sorry how long this took, please don't give me any stick. This crush is getting unhealthy but I don't want to come off as desperate, and don't want to interfere with her current relationship. I'm so glad I got this off my chest, I havn't really told my friends about it, because I hate it when they do the same thing....no sugar coated replies please.

Divorce Rate in MA Drops To Pre-WWII Level

DonnieDarko — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 22:09:32 GMT

Bruce Wilson: Divorce Rate in Gay Marriage-Legal MA Drops To Pre-WWII Level

Above is a link to the article .. and it's fairly long so I won't bother copying it here ... but in essence .. it shows that after 5 years of legalized same-sex marriage ... the institution of marrriage HAS NOT been destroyed ... the world has not ended ...

Now, I don't want this thead turned into a political sh1t-storm ... I just want to say that Massachusetts is a pretty damn good place to live these days ... We've decriminalized weed (up to 1 Oz) , legalized gay marriage, and have inplimented Universal Health Care .. Our residents believe in quality of life for everyone .. even if it costs a little more ... and I'm proud of that.

Good call honey

Nanoose — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 01:52:29 GMT

Today well I was at work a friend came over with a bag of bud that was bigger then � and offered to sell it for $120. My wife asked him if he would come back when I got home and he said sure but the weed will be sold by then. Surprisingly my wife wasn�t sure what to do � she doesn�t like making financial decisions without talking it over plus she wasn�t sure if it was a good deal - but thankfully she bought it . When I got home she said � I got some news but I�m not sure if you will like it � I bought � of bud for $120. When she showed me the bag and gave me the story about her not being sure if she should buy it - I couldn�t believe it. the bag is about 1/8 bigger then � and its real decent bud .
If she hadn�t of bought it and our friend would of come over and smoked some of the bud and told me what I missed out on - I would of had to divorce the wife.

Cheers and happy week end!

PS � if I did try to divorce the wife it would be just my luck to get a real crappy lawyer and a real harsh judge who hands me the death penalty.
When the judge tells me that I can choose the method of execution and suggests a painless lethal injection -
I will say � na � noose.

Its over?

NowhereMan — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:38:28 GMT

Last night I was on the phone with my girlfriend. She lives far away from me but we have been doing the long distance thing for almost six months. Its been going well for the most part. There are some things however, that have hindered our relationship. She does not like drinking or smoking of any kind. She says she hates the smell of cannabis. When we first started talking, I told her I smoked and she told me that as long as I never pressured her into trying, it wouldn't be an issue.

Well... it has been. When I tell her I'm going out with my friends I get a nasty vibe because she knows I'll probably be smoking. I've never lied to her on the subject, and we just sort of avoid it altogether. Until last night. I told her I was going to be out with my brother and she mentions that we're probably going to smoke. I shook off the comment but she said she didn't like something else of mine... and I sorta got ticked off and abrubtly hung up. She asked what was wrong. I told her that I'm just sick of feeling like a terrible person for smoking or having a couple beers with the guys. I told her I don't care if she doesn't partake in such things but to at least compromise with me on them.

We haven't talked a whole lot since this happened early last night.
We texted a bit earlier and I could tell she was steamed so I figure I better let it be for right now.

I'm not sure what to do.
I suppose its up to her.
But I kind of feel like a dick now.

Marriage Equality

Lulu — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 15:57:21 GMT

New commercial for MarriagEquality's campaign for same-sex marriage in Ireland

YouTube - Sinead's Hand