Stoner Forums is intended for persons 18 years of age and up.
You are currently viewing as a guest which gives you limited access to the site features.
By joining Stoner Forums, you will be able to join in our discussion forums, customize your profile,
use Private Messaging(PM's), Live 24/7 Stoner Chat, exclusive Member Only contests, and much more.
I've been seeing this guy since May. It's just casual, we talk and hang out more than we hook up. That is to say, we are more friends than friends with benefits. This last September I let him know I like him and he told me he didn't want a relationship. I told him maybe we shouldn't see each other, since we wanted different things, but he wanted to stay friends.
That was like 6 months ago, and we're still just like we were. The problem is, I really have feelings for him but I don't think he feels the same. I know he likes me to a point though, obviously. I'm not sure if he doesn't want a relationship, or just one with me. We have a great time when we are together and I could see my self with him. I keep thinking maybe it's time to give up but then I think if I just hold out a bit longer something will come of it. Of course at the same time, I'm afraid to bring it up again because 1) I don't want to scare him off and 2) I don't want to be rejected again. I know it's pathetic, but it's not like I have any other prospective relationships that this one is holding me back from. Am I just being foolish?
__________________
You can bet people I'm high. I'm seeing lions and tigers and bears oh my!
I don't think your being foolish, but it sounds like you already put the ball in his court. In my book, next move is his and if he doesn't make one, he can't complain about what you do. If it were me(and it were a gender reversal of course, all traditional gender roles notwithstanding) I'd just lay low. If he makes a move, great, but if he doesn't and more to the point assuming he won't just keep your eye out. If you see someone else that looks promising but might be more open to a relationship, go for it. Who knows, maybe that'd get him off his ass.
All I'm saying is, probably best to just chill and continue with the friendship for now. Don't hold a torch for him and just let him do whatever it is he wants to do. Like The Beatles say, "Let it be".
But then again, wtf do I know, my girlfriend literally just left me for another guy . My motto is usually do whatever feels right in these sorts of situations, but then again I'm a person who mostly floats through life on the assumption that I have good instincts, which has worked pretty well for me so far.
Good luck and toke on
__________________
"You know what. . . I could blow up the whole goddamn world with this thing."
I've been seeing this guy since May. It's just casual, we talk and hang out more than we hook up. That is to say, we are more friends than friends with benefits. This last September I let him know I like him and he told me he didn't want a relationship. I told him maybe we shouldn't see each other, since we wanted different things, but he wanted to stay friends.
That was like 6 months ago, and we're still just like we were. The problem is, I really have feelings for him but I don't think he feels the same. I know he likes me to a point though, obviously. I'm not sure if he doesn't want a relationship, or just one with me. We have a great time when we are together and I could see my self with him. I keep thinking maybe it's time to give up but then I think if I just hold out a bit longer something will come of it. Of course at the same time, I'm afraid to bring it up again because 1) I don't want to scare him off and 2) I don't want to be rejected again. I know it's pathetic, but it's not like I have any other prospective relationships that this one is holding me back from. Am I just being foolish?
thats sucks i have been single for awhile now at first it sucked but now im starting to kinda like bein single cause i can do what i want when i want.
Boone.....can I say "Told ya so?" lol. Yeah it sucks at first being single but later on you realize ohhhh I can do this and that...etc etc etc.
CF, I was in a similar relationship with a girl that has been my best friend literally since the day she moved to my town (14 years) For several years we tried dating, dated other people, dating each other, dating other people....a couple of years ago I thought since we were seeing each other (and took it further than our previous dating times by being sexual with each other) it was going to finally be our time and I was gonna marry her.
Long story short, all these years she saw me as someone she was physically attracted to and someone she could chat with for hours and hours and hours, but she couldnt see herself living the rest of her life with me, WHY? I don't know, you women are complicated, however she fell for a guy who was an ass to her and he basically was seeing 3 other girls at the same time, she didnt know and neither did the other girls. I figured she was really into this guy and I'd try dating someone else, I found a great gal and I'm probably going to marry her, she found out the ass was a player and he almost got killed by one of his girl's husband. Not long after that she sent me a long e mail about how she wished she stayed with me, how she knew that I'd be a good father to her kids, a good husband to her, blah blah blah blah, the biggest thing that touched me in that e mail (I was kind of still mad at her) was that she said "I'll never find anyone like you and your girlfriend is going to be one lucky woman" She regretted not staying with me but I gave her 14 years of chances, a guy can only take so much "I dont know, lets just see what happens"
My suggestion, tell him that if he's not going to decide if he likes you or not, you're not going to wait forever for him, I waited 14 years and all that happened was I allowed her to take advantage of me for 14 years, focus on making yourself happy and if he does not want to be part of that happiness, let him go, if he wants you bad enough he'll come back.
Trust me, the more you allow it, the more he will take advantage of you. If he notices he can get away with not totally committing to you, he'll keep you at bay as long as he can.
Hope it helps
__________________ To me, blunt you must pass, Hmm?
thats sucks i have been single for awhile now at first it sucked but now im starting to kinda like bein single cause i can do what i want when i want.
I've been single about a year and a half now, after a 4+ year relationship and it was the opposite for me. It was nice at first but now it's lonely and it sucks.
__________________
You can bet people I'm high. I'm seeing lions and tigers and bears oh my!
My suggestion, tell him that if he's not going to decide if he likes you or not, you're not going to wait forever for him, I waited 14 years and all that happened was I allowed her to take advantage of me for 14 years, focus on making yourself happy and if he does not want to be part of that happiness, let him go, if he wants you bad enough he'll come back.
Trust me, the more you allow it, the more he will take advantage of you. If he notices he can get away with not totally committing to you, he'll keep you at bay as long as he can.
Hope it helps
Best advise on the whole thread. I wish more people would apply this always. They want things to "change" and be "better". So they wait it out........ But if it can't be as good as it should be right now......why wait?
wise advice Psycrow420
__________________
Ships are safe in the harbor, but that is not what ships were meant for.
Thank you Jabber, while I said I allowed her to dictate how the relationship would go.....to this day shes still my best friend and is always there to listen to me.
__________________ To me, blunt you must pass, Hmm?
I've been seeing this guy since May. It's just casual, we talk and hang out more than we hook up. That is to say, we are more friends than friends with benefits. This last September I let him know I like him and he told me he didn't want a relationship. I told him maybe we shouldn't see each other, since we wanted different things, but he wanted to stay friends.
That was like 6 months ago, and we're still just like we were. The problem is, I really have feelings for him but I don't think he feels the same. I know he likes me to a point though, obviously. I'm not sure if he doesn't want a relationship, or just one with me. We have a great time when we are together and I could see my self with him. I keep thinking maybe it's time to give up but then I think if I just hold out a bit longer something will come of it. Of course at the same time, I'm afraid to bring it up again because 1) I don't want to scare him off and 2) I don't want to be rejected again. I know it's pathetic, but it's not like I have any other prospective relationships that this one is holding me back from. Am I just being foolish?
OK, in MHO I think you shouldn't be putting yourelf out there for him anymore. Being Friends is cool but sleeping with him (though not regularly) still is a very personal thing. No matter how you want to look at it your going to continue having feelings for this guy and probably even developing stronger feelings than those that are already present.
Step back and look at your situation from outside of the box, Would you let a friend put her feelings on the line like you are? I hope you undersand that if you keep on seeing this guy your going to keep creating feelings for him which apparently he wont/can't reciprocae.
be smart girl, be his friend just not the type to occasionally hook up with him.. So no to sex with him is all I have to say.
. My motto is usually do whatever feels right in these sorts of situations, but then again I'm a person who mostly floats through life on the assumption that I have good instincts, which has worked pretty well for me so far.
To me, blunt you must pass, Hmm?
Linear Mode
