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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied, 'Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.'
The child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So why is the groom wearing black?'

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A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class.
As she ran she prayed, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me
be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!'
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again!
As she ran she once again began to pray, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!'

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Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!'

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An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'

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A police recruit was asked during the exam, What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother? He answered, Call for backup.

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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

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At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.'

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Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?'
The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'

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lol. these are great. I have one that my pastor actually told us during a sermon

So one day Adam was talking to God and he said,
"God, why did you make women?"

"You needed someone to be your companion and to share your life with."

"Why did you make them so beautiful?"


"So that you would love them."

"Then why did you make them sooo dumb?"

"So that they would love you."

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"I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME" PHILPS 4:3

And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground--everything that has the breath of life in it--I give every green plant for food." And it was so. Gen. 1:30

Had a good laugh.

Those are good. I really enjoy a joke without the nastiness in it, every once in a while.

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lol that was a racist comment by the mother, lol black people aren't happy

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"Inhale, Exhale, Forget To Breathe" -AR

Confucius say "Man who blow fart in church sits in own pew"

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Only a nation afraid of it's citizens tries to control them

Well this isn't church related, but it's a clean joke an older lady just told me.

A farmer is just coming home froma n auction with a new horse.

His neighbor meets him at barn and the farmer says, "hey Joe, can I borrow your saw?"

neighbor says, "what for?"

Well the new horse I got is too tall fo the door...I need to cut a couple of notches at the top so his ears will pass through."

The neighbor says< "why don't you just dig a trench for him to walk in?"

The farmer says," what a stupid idea!! it's his ears that are too long, not his legs!!"

Nice.