redneck dictonary and other redneck jokes

heartguy

Primate, Removing your spouse from in front of TV


Relief, What trees do in the spring



Sudafed, Brought litigation against a government official



Eclipse, what an Brittish barber does for a living



you're an extrema redneck if......

You let your 14 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids

you've been married 3 times and still have the same inlaws

you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge

one of your kids was born on a pool table

your junior prom offered day care


you think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk



the holloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse



you can't get married to your sweetheart cause there's a law against it


heart

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"All that you need to love is in front of your eyes"

TeeBox

LMAO Funny stuff, Heart!

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Righteousness will always prevail!

Psycrow420

If the tires on your truck cost more than your house.......you might be a redneck.



If your washtub has only two settings...COLD and brown.....you might be a redneck.



if you marvel at indoor plumbing......you might be a redneck.


If your RV is bigger than your house, you might be a redneck.


If you've ever been referred to as Bubba, Ol Boy, Hoss, or Beermonster......you might be a redneck.

If your baby cries because his bottle has no more Coors in it.....you might be a redneck.


If you've ever been accused of lying through your tooth........you might be a redneck.


If you ever gave a northerner directions and they come back in 10 minutes because they dont understand a thing you're saying......you might be an Alabaman.

and finally.....


If your cows have insurance on them but your car does not.....you might be a redneck.


Ohh one more thing.....


Redneck Security system.

First, get some old work boots and mangle one of them, smear ketchup on it and toss the other one a few feet away, set the bloody boot on the porch.

Next, get a tape of mean dogs barking and put it in the 8 track and crank the volume.

Last of all, write a note and stick it on the door, it should read something like this.....


"Hey Jim-Bob, Bubba, Billy Ray and Joe Don, the dogs got out again, tore the mailman up darn good, I reckon theys be hungry. I went out to ask the Vet if they'll be ok. DON'T GO IN THE HOUSE, thats where I put the dogs."

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To me, blunt you must pass, Hmm?




Do or Do Not, there is no Try hmmm----Yoda