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Hey all. So I had to quit the Amytriptilline I was on because rather than getting used to it, it just kept making me more and more tired, to the point where I couldn't function all day. That and it was doing nothing at all for my depression after a week or so.
I've also tried Paxil, Effexor, Zoloft, and Cipralex, and all of them made me feel so tense and aggitated it was like I was on crack (not that I'm comparing from experience). Couldn't sleep, no sex drive, couldn't stop clenching my jaw and feeling mega-tense.


I really, badly, need something to get my depression under control though. The last seven years of my life have been the same every day; being in pain, alone, and failing at any attempts to get an education because of pain (and somewhat, depression). I'm getting a lot of thoughts about suicide; not becaues I want to so much, but because I feel I have no choice - just can't cope with the pain and aloneness any more. I'm a 23 year old virgin, never so much as kissed someone, probably never will. No friends except one that lives far away and I only see occasionally. Pain, alone, pain, alone... can't keep it up forever. Fucking doctor refuses to give me an adaquate oxycontin dose, refuses to up it EVER so long as I live, even though being in pain is keeping me from leaving the house or having any kind of a life. Lets not debate that though...


Any suggestions? Any treatments I may not have heard of?

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"I think your love of the halfling's pipe-weed has slowed your mind"

- Saruman

Man, i know shit can be rough, but depression is an internal matter, you must dig deep and find your way out, go take walk outside or something, find some kind of hobby, buy a dog, find something to channel your negative energies into something positive. Go out and meet people, you have to have some interests, go to something where people will share those interests and meet them. Hey, you might even find a cute girl.

Good luck to you brotha, just remember keep those feet on the ground, and your head to the sky. Good posture is the key to success.

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Yo blitzed, thanks for responding. I was just thinking, about what you said about getting a hobby, and one the biggest reasons I'm so depressed is that I feel I have no purpose in life. Well I've been thinking about this fantasy novel series I've been meaning to write for months, and most nights (when I'm not too down) I go to bed tweaking and adding to the story in my head. I'm seriously thinking that I should start working on that, although I'm hesitant because I don't feel my understanding of punctuation is 100% perfect yet (as it has to be if you to get it published). Meh, maybe I'll just write it anyway, edit later.

Can't really go out and meet people though, that's the problem. I'd have to go somewhere where we could sit around, since I can't really stand for more than half an hour max. Plus I sort of get panic attacks in huge groups of people I don't know. Not so much now, but it stresses me out enough that I freez up. damnit, I wish I had a source for some E! I so rarely get a hold of the stuff, but it makes the world such a wonderful place, and I just love people and talk to strangers with ease. Ah well.... *sigh* I Should become a chemist and make my own.


I've rambled on enough though; thanks for responding, anywhooooo.

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"I think your love of the halfling's pipe-weed has slowed your mind"

- Saruman

Write your novel...there are people out there that can make it more 'agreeable" to be presented to publishers.

You are being treated for pain AND depression? Have you had a good long HONEST talk with your doc about all of this? I find it hard to believe that if you have talked to him/her that they aren't doing more. Is ths doc a Psychiatrist? If not have you seen one or have plans to? Psychiatric help could help you face your demons and help you get past them.

Self medicating isn't smart or the answer.....

GO FOR THE WRITING BRO!!!!

Much love, and best of thoughts your way. Loneliness is an incredible weight. BUT...

You found what you like to do and thats write this thing out. Thats what spell check is for man... And proofreading is easy to do. Im SURE, in fact im positive that an english teacher at a few highschools or the college would love to read it and go through it for you.

think good times and bury yourself in reading...

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hi Gandalf
writing a book will keep you busy, less time to think about whatever is depressing you, altho writing about what your goin thru might make a great book too, and if your thinkin bout writing a book, joining a book club would deff get u out of the house and give u a chance to hang with other people, in a relaxing enviroment, i'm sure theres a writing group too, usually is at colleges, stayin home in the house by yourself all the time is not good for depression, sunshine actually helps improve your mood, keeps away tht 'cabin fever' feeling
good luck

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Man depression is a bitch man. I notice that ure kinda lookin to much at the negatives in life. Why do u have to compare ure life with the way of sociotey's standards. U need to get out man and meet sum people. I know it might be a little scary at first because of the fear of rejection but thats part of life man. Ure not gonna get along with every1. The easiest friends u can make are fellow stoners because usually u only need 1 thing in common to atleast be a toking buddy. Which then leads to buddys, ect. ect. ect. U need to let go of the pain u got on ure shoulders man. I know its easy just to say it than actually do it but it's possible. I was on my 4th suicide attempt b4 I realized I just needed to let go of the stress. It's as simple as that. And as for the education, u just need to keep searching and don't let the depression control u. Because all in all U r the one who is controlling it by letting SHIT bug u. Im sorry if this didn't help but i'm just telling u what helped me.

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Why not look for a class on writing or journalism? This would help you with writing your book and maybe a path towards a good career. I remember reading in my paper about a writer hiking the Appalachian Trail...I think it took him 3 months and 5 pairs of hiking boots. Another canoed (is that a proper word??)...paddled his canoe from the start of the Connecticut River in upstate New Hamster/ Canada to it's mouth on Long Island Sound....407 miles. I always thought this would be THE coolest way to make a living AND have fun working...

write, write, write....definately! I have been dealing with depression & anxiety my whole life....was on all that prescription crap for at least ten years and had nothing but problems with side effects......i was cooped up in a house i hated, in a town i hated, had no friends, no hobbies.....no life outside of raising my kids. One day somethan bit me in the ass...i threw the pills in the trash, moved back home to seattle, got a job, met people......and i felt 100 times better thats not to say i still dont deal with the depression & anxiety.....i just recently went back on the meds for a short time and discovered that wasnt the answer. I spent the summer gardening....working on my art.....writing my poetry & journals.....cooking exotic meals.....going to the beach and listening to the waves.....playing with my kids and cuddling with my dog. Lately, since my kiddo started driving my car all the time ive been more isolated in my house and havent been feeling soo hot.
So im learning to distract myself with hobbies & a little mary jane when needed. It's also VERY important to GET OUTSIDE. Up here in the rainy city most of us are vitamin D deficient, lol. Sunshine & fresh air will do wonders for the depression. Even now if i step on the balcony for a few, breathe some fresh air, mess with my plants....i feel much better I am also trying to get into the habit of taking vitamins every day (especially Vit D & B-Complex) as well as cutting back on the nicotene & caffeine. Im determined to treat these conditions in a more healthy way and learn to live vs. survive with this hand ive been dealt. Good luck to YOU from someone who knows the battle all too well much love

hey gandalf

good to see you around here, sorry to hear about your depression

cognitive behavioural therapy is effective at treating depression and panic attacks...the goal isn't to think yourself happy or painfree, but rather to combat repetitive negative thought patterns that wear a well worn grove into your neural networks...your brain is like plastic in that it can be reshaped by dismantling old neural networks and establishing new ones...it takes practice but if you change your brain, you can change your reality...a therapist trained in CBT techniques can guide you through the process but it is also possible to do it on your own with the help of a CBT workbook:

Cognitive behavioral therapy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia



if being a virgin bothers you, a professional woman can provide appropriate therapy for about the same cost as a psychologist, with much quicker results...prostitition is pretty much legal in canada so it wouldn't be risky...there should be a category for escort services in your yellow pages if you live in/near a town big enough to support a few hotels


what is the cause and symptoms of your pain?

The best thing I ever used for depression and was natural was St. John's wort. don't buy the processed chemical derivatives that they sell. Buy a product which includes the whole flower. All of the chemicals work synergistically in the flower of the plant.

If you can get compressed tablets of the flowers, that is the best. Also it should be fresh, not old--the product.

Usually I would never mention another site on this forum but this is a special case...Lots of folks over there who live with PAIN DAILY and tons of info...
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try some 5-htp. I've been down lately, i'm not sure if its my brain or if its school mixed with cold whether, but i started taking 5-htp twice a day and feel better. Not great, just less bad. I doubt it could hurt.

aside from that, maybe st. john's wort. I tried it in the past with mixed results, but like an antidepressant you need to be consistent and take it for at least a few weeks before it kicks in. 5-htp is pretty much instant, or within a few hours.

5-htp is a precursor to serotonin, so while it doesn't fix having too few serotonin receptors it gives more of it to the ones that are there.

give it a whirl, but don't get your hopes up too much. it looks like you've tried alot

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all i need is a Bud, some bud, and my buds

therapy might also be good. i've gone through boughts of depression in my life, and what always got me out was a change in point of view. If you went into therapy thoroughly believing it will help, it could help change your view on shit.

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all i need is a Bud, some bud, and my buds

Over the years I've come to realize my depression was a seasonal and diet related disability. Lack of sunshine affects your body and mind.
So does a diet high in fat and sugar. E A R T H . C L I N I C - Folk Remedies and Holistic Cures helped me change my life and I owe them a debt I could never repay

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