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got an offer for my DREAM job, but... yes, they do drug testing

i'm a pretty heavy stoner, i smoke every day, total of about an 8th a week, I'd guess.... smoked even this morning. i haven't gotten the offer just yet, but i'm anticipating it any day now, which means the test will be within the next week or so, if indeed that does happen.

i've got a lot of fat cells, i weigh about 155, i'm only 5'4". WHAT DO I DO HERE? i'm considering buying fake urine, but i'm concerned about keeping it at the right temp. how about a detox kit? have any heavy stoners actually HAD SUCCESS with these?

also heard that if i drink A TON OF WATER all day the day of the test, my body will just pass the water and nothing else.

i'm gonna stop smoking RIGHT NOW and..... i dont know, do whatever i gotta do, but... i mean, i know ideally i need six weeks to get this shit out of me.

help??

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"the best part of believe is the lie."

I've had to do the drug test jig, its terrible and nerve racking....and completely ridiculous. but no worries, stoners are out there getting past it every day :-)

if you're going to get fake pee you can tape it to the inside of your leg in a triple bag, vial whatever (the crease where your leg meets ya body) and it'll keep it the right temp, just make sure they aren't super hardcore and watch you pee (thats what i had to go through, door open with a person watching). and you usually need at least 10 ml of urine in the cup so if you plan to BYOP, make sure you have enough to go around.

i used a detox drink, maybe green clean or something like that but don't quote me cuz i'm not 100% on the memory thing, follow any and all instructions on it EXACTLY! worked for me and couple of friends going through the same thing and i smoke daily and often.

don't drink tons and tons of water, did that once before and my urine came back too dilute and i had to go back for a second test. yikes.

you can buy home drug tests at cvs/walgreens for maybe $20, which sucks but at least you can be double sure if you're using a detox of some sort.

good luck, hopefully others will be able to throw in some more advice for ya. don't let the man get ya down happy smoking!

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(813): I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."

id recommend the detox drink as well, ive never used it myself but i have had friends use it with good results. last year i smoked with my homie the day before his last meeting/drug test to officially get off parole, after blazin he picked up some red tea detox and passed that shit fine.

All the above pluss a lil more research.
If you take a double dose of vitamins each day up to the test,then on the day lots,along with lots of water take one an hour before for colour.
The reconmended amount of vits hours etc on another thread,I cant find it.
Vitb is the one.
There is tons of good info on the net.
Dont buy fake pee,im sure a m8 could lend ya some,lol.
Its mad you guys can buys kits etc.
Good luck with everything.

so I get a clean friend to pee in a condom then poke a hole in it right beforehand and viola!

but if they're really watching you this won't work