Los Angeles, El mirage..,,,,1995...
I got a call from my friend that produces..still shoots..print ads...
She wanted me to produce this shoot for her out in the desert.
I told her im a film 1st AD..not a stills guy...this would be hard ...for me..
she said no worries, you shoot in the desert alot...you will need to get some old hollywood lights, arc lights. and some rails...as props...but they must also work too...umm arc light...they use a carbon rod...and burns 15 mins..she said i owed her a favor anyway...damn..she faxed me the schedule and treatment.I see "make a budget and send it back to me asap" its always rush rush....
umm..perilli calender shoot..
camera man peter Lingburg...make up...kevin accune..models..
umm the list goes on...i contact all the places i needed to have read for the crew..hotels..equipment..insurances..permits..driv ers etc..the list never ends..im thinking ...this budget is just as big as a film shoot..3 weeks..im still under budget...
I contacted my gaffer friend, he was probally the only guy in town with these lights..hes been around... collects old movie set lights..
he had four of them but no carbon rods...i contacted the makers and got lucky..ordered a few cases...i needed also to contact my heli pilot he was to meet the models at van huys heli port..and fly them out here..El mirage..
so far everything looks easy...like a film shoot..all prepped..what i didnt see...how the crew was going to react with each other........
first day:
crew arrives...600 am...
motohome
gaffers and grips
breakfast caterers..
security..
camera and i...
800 am.. i get a call, one of the models doesnt want to fly...and she wont come out of the house...so i told the heli pilot to stand down..
I drive my 4x4 surburban out to malibu.. zuma beach...
i arrived at her house knocked on the door and she opens the door all messed up..looks like shes been up all night...i see three dogs..in back ground and they come charging out...i grab the two and she grabs one..
she said shes ready to go...ill be a minute, just gonna put the dogs away..so i walk out my 4x4...and wait...wait....wait.....i call the producer..she not coming out what should i do?? she said knock on the door and grab her hand take her to your car....oh?? me??..she hangs up..i go to the door...and knock again...she answers...im coming..ok...i go...look...everybody is waiting...im here to drive you out..if you want..we can take the dogs..she smiles..and goes ok lets go.....
Driving:
my car..with three dogs and coke model...snorting coke...on the way out...shes talking a million things..im concentrating on the dog chewing my seat bealts..so what the hell...i pull out a J and take a toke...
i dont remember what she said...just concentrating on the shoot...knodding my head....
i arrive and the wind is picking up..sand starts to blow...
the grips are asking me where do they want the black drop..
the wind is picking up so we have to secure it with bull pricks..
(large metal stakes)..peter said face it west so we can get all the light on it..in a german accent...bamit goes up in no time...these guys are good...
the model is one of peters favs..he loves her look...he said you can shoot her any angle and she looks good....i can here peter clicking away..against the black backdrop...im thinking this guy works fast..nice..hes talking to her out loud..."dos iz good...yeah fucking unreal yeah...oh..love the look gad damnit..clicks away....
we wrap out...the models boyfriend is here..looks like a 70's pimp..
theres a big drama ...everybody hugging and kissing each other good bye...the model rides off with the dogs.. its a wrapp day 1...shit...i have 5 more models to go...
day2..
the pilot arrives on time with a actress...she had just got beatin by her boyfriend.she has a black eye..the make up guys are panicing..rama starts up.....she asks me if its ok to bring her kids out ot the set...and can you find me a place to stay...all this and no good morning...ok...done...
the makeup artist...has her sit in front of a 12x12 inch glass plate.
he colors makeup on it to show peter...peter is saying its too rich..to tone it down...theres a fight...words get exchanged...then i hear my name...the makeup guy says to me... take me back i quit...im looking at this 6 ft 5 inch guy wimping out...ok...let me say something..you think i like to be here?..baby sitting all of you ..i have no time to piss or even think about tomorrows shoot..let alone you want to leave ..this is a one in a life time chance to do a shoot like this...all the past runway events you did with fashion the harper bazar shoots vogue..it will al disappear..but this...this is a calendar..marking a very special camera man..and you...very special...make up artist..all of us here in this hell hole making history...so...i just wanted to vent to u..sorry..kevin..
he smiles and hugs me...ok ...im back...(what drama)...
During the shoot, the actress pulls out a phone...peter keeps shooting...yeah yeah dos its good lllfucking unreal...she hangs up and tells me the limo driver is lost....can you help him find this place..
imake the call...no problems...i ended up baby sitting three kids...
we wrap it....i watch as the vans and trucks pull away....i leave the motorhome and grip truck on set...there is a security guy...
i walk up to him and say dont mind me...im going to smoke this J..and watch the sun melt...he said ok boss..im thinkning...boss?..more like baby sitter...and laugh to myself.......
day 3.
I get a call form yours truely....she said..please go where the
model is staying on sunset....shes fighting with her boyfriend in her room...i go but..i ah...she hangs up...man i know shes busy..but this...
i arrive...coffee in hand...blood shot eyes...and in no mood for being a peacekeeper...i knock on the room...theres silence...i knock again...
the door opens up...she looks like shit..hair all messed up...room thrashed...no boyfriend...ahem...you ready...?..because if i have too..
ill carry your arse out with me to the set..she smiles...im ready...shes also still drunk.....
i arrive at the set...and peter is so happy to see her...she asks for champane...im on it...by noon...shes drunk again...nude..walking around the set...this..model is a runway model..not a playboy bunny..its more anoying to see skin bones..trottin around the desert...with a glass of champane...
we wrap up, the polaroid 35mm film looks unreal...im seeing peter work..getting better and better as the longer we stay out here....
I drive the model back...shes passed out...in the front..leggs up on the dash board...im toking...fuck it..im jealous..shes making..50 k..drunk on set...nah...im ok with it...then all of a sudden....she wakes up...i have to........i see her face...and pull over...shes puking...she says i need to go potty too...potty?..well its a girls way of saying pee i guess..us guys..u kno...we just say gonna piss..and we go..shes behind a bush and yells for toilet paper...umm...im thinking..wtf am i going to do now...oh i have some blue paper towels I picked up at the gas station...i walk out and hand it to her...looking the other way...jesus..im thinking hating my job at the moment.....
shes passed out...i can smell champane on her breath...and weed in the air..and i dont care.......pj harvey is playing.....
I arrive at the hotel...and she cant get up...i ask the bell boys for a cart..i put her in it..and wheel it thru the lobby...her boyfriend...waiting in the lobby...
he runs up to me..and says "what happened?"..she had a long day on set...i assume you are the boyfriend..? he says yes..and says who are you..Im producing the shoot...he gives me stink eye..(i do look like a barbarian..with all the desert dust and sunburnt face.)..he huffs and and says ..."thats it" walks away...im standing there..wtf is he?..another wimp...so i go to the conciege..please deliver her to room 2244 please..i tip him and leave....fuck it...i have a j to finish...
day 4
the weather is windy...sand storms....we take downthe back drop..
i have all the vehicles make a circle to block off the wind...it works alittle...we put up the black back drop and wait for the model to appear.. The heli wont fly in this condition...so we have a limo...
a asian girl arrives..and she looks like shes going to start a revolution..
she turns out to be cool and finish her shoot in 3 hours...serious..no drama...done...out...ty.....we wrap early.....im invited to a sushi bar..
sushi and sake ...we get to know each other good...everybody is happy....
day 5
last girl..she arrives by heli...and we shoot...for three hours and wrap it out..by now we are pros at shooting in the desert....
i wrap the shoot up and they all hug each other and exchange phone numbers...i get invoices and reciepts..to handle....
i watch as the last cars dust leaves the desert set.....
Im thinking....when art is work....its my life...its just a job...with expression....
i drive off........laughing...stoned......smiling...i did it..i thought..
im am only as good as my last job....
its wrap........
aloha..
tokes...
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